Ask Amy Tackles Prenuptial Agreements

This morning's Ask Amy column (available without registration through the Washington Post, here) addresses  prenuptial agreements.  Here's a portion of the question:

I am engaged to a woman whom I have been dating for 18 months. We plan to get married next year. We each have children from previous marriages, are 50 years old and are well-paid professionals. I am financially secure, and she is tens of thousands of dollars in debt because of poor spending habits.

I told my fiancee that I want a prenuptial agreement. I will ay off a portion of her debts and take care of all of our common living expenses -- housing, cars, food, utilities, insurance, etc., so that she can pay off her debts with her income, then put away some savings for herself. We will keep our finances separate. I can do whatever I see fit with my money; she can do the same with hers.

I told my sons about my marriage plan and my intention of leaving them a portion of my money if something happens to me. I will also leave some to my fiancee and some to my ex-wife to give her a bit of a financial safety net should she need it....

When my fiancee found out what I told my sons, she became very upset. She bitterly complained that it was not fair to her and that she was being slighted. I have no doubt that she loves me, and I love her. We really do enjoy being with each other.

I do think that she is not being gracious enough.

I think Amy's answer is a good one.  Prenuptial agreements are a negotiation, and involve two parties.  There is no way a prenup (or a marriage?) is going to work if the one party makes all the decisions and forces them down the other party's throat.