Choosing a guardian for minor children is often the most difficult decision faced in making a Will. Now imagine if that decision involved one husband and three wives! That was the situation on last night's episode of "Big Love", the HBO series about polygamists.
Actually, the Will/guardianship storyline began last week, when Barb Henrickson (wife #1) decided that her sister -- who disapproves of Barb's lifestyle -- should no longer be named as guardian of Barb's three children. This caused all three wives to consider updating their Wills, but with some twists:
Nicki (wife #2) was raised in a commune of polygamists, and doesn't want Barb to be named as guardian of her sons, since she doesn't know if Barb would raise them to "live the principle" of plural marriage. As a result, Nicki wants her father (Roman Grant, AKA the "Prophet," played by the always scary Harry Dean Stanton) and mother to raise her children.
Margene (wife #3) has told Nicki that she will name her as guardian of Margene's children, but decides that she instead wants to choose Barb for the job (Nicki isn't exactly a warm person -- or a good mom). When Margene goes to the family attorney to sign her new Will, she is given a copy of Nicki's Will by mistake, and learns Nicki's plan to name her parents as guardians.
Barb was planning to change her Will to name Nicki as guardian, but is now afraid
that, if she predeceases Nicki, then Barb's three children will also
have to go live with Nicki's parents.
The above situation, while exaggerated, actually raises some important points even for non-polygamists:
1. Think carefully about potential guardians, and about whether they truly share your values.
2. Don't be afraid to change your mind about guardians as the situation dictates.
3. Be honest with the people you've selected as guardians (and, if it's not too uncomfortable, with those you haven't).
Finally, a piece of practical advice: if you are a polygamist, don't keep all of your wives' Wills in a folder on your desk -- a snoopy employee might find them!